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Oh, you knew he was going to bring it!  And boy did he!  Last night, Stephen Colbert delivered a hilarious "defense" of Rush Limbaugh as only he could!

And folks, Rush wasn't just name-calling.  He was concerned.
RUSH LIMBAUGH (2/29/2012): She's having so much sex, she can't afford her own birth control pills.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): Ms. Fluke, have you ever heard of not having sex?  Have you ever heard of not having sex so often?

Yes, because that's how the pill works.  The more sex you have, the more birth control pills you have to take.  It's one for each sperm, they act like little baby deflectors.  And Rush knows what he's talking about, because every time he's had sex with a woman, he's had to slip her a pill first.  (wild audience applause and cheering)  I understand that, I could be wrong about my understanding.

Of course, you call one woman you've never met a slut and a prostitute, and demand that she post an Internet gangbang tape, and suddenly the lamestream media is jumping down your throat, if there were room in there with all that ham.

....

Yes, Rush apologized for using those two words to describe her.  But he still stands behind everything else he said.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/2/2012): Sandra Fluke is having so much sex, that she can't afford it.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): She wants all the sex in the world, whenever she wants it, all the time.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/2/2012): They're lined up around the block!

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): We're talking sex addict frequency.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/5/2012): ... an immoral, baseless, no purpose to her life woman

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): Ms. Fluke, who bought your condoms in junior high?

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): She's having so much sex, it's amazing she can still walk!

I don't understand why this man has gone through four wives.  (wild audience applause and cheering)

But folks, I'll tell you, I don't think Rush should have apologized for calling her a prostitute.  I mean, it takes one to know one.  And remember, he only apologized to keep his advertisers, proving Rush will do anything with his mouth for cash.

Video and full transcript below the fold.

Now, Obamacare mandates that all employers have to cover contraceptives.  So, last week Congress held hearings featuring a Who's Who of Who Doesn't Have Ovaries.  But Democrats wanted Georgetown Law student Sandra Fluke to testify, but Republicans couldn't allow that, I mean, 'cause women get all emotional about their reproductive rights.  So the dirty Dems held a special session in which Ms. Fluke spoke in favor of contraceptive coverage.

That angered radio host and poster boy for contraception, Rush Limbaugh.  Jim?

RUSH LIMBAUGH (2/29/2012): What does it say about the college co-ed Susan (sic) Fluke, who goes before a Congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex?  What does that make her?  It makes her a slut, right?  It makes her a prostitute.
(audible audience anger)

Good point, Rush.  She's a slut and a prostitute?  That's two jobs, and she still can't afford her own birth control?  Come on!  Now, there's an old saying in radio, "We've got three hours to fill, keep talking."  And he did.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): So Ms. Fluke, and the rest of you feminazis, here's the deal.  If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it.  And I'll tell you what it is.  We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch.
That's right.  If the taxpayers are going to pay for it, we should be able to watch.  That's why I've always said that there should be a dedicated YouTube channel for Medicare patients' colonoscopies.  Come on, Mr. Weingartner, we paid for a peek at those polyps, you butt-slut!

And folks, Rush wasn't just name-calling.  He was concerned.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (2/29/2012): She's having so much sex, she can't afford her own birth control pills.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): Ms. Fluke, have you ever heard of not having sex?  Have you ever heard of not having sex so often?

Yes, because that's how the pill works.  The more sex you have, the more birth control pills you have to take.  It's one for each sperm, they act like little baby deflectors.  And Rush knows what he's talking about, because every time he's had sex with a woman, he's had to slip her a pill first.  (wild audience applause and cheering)  I understand that, I could be wrong about my understanding.

Of course, you call one woman you've never met a slut and a prostitute, and demand that she post an Internet gangbang tape, and suddenly the lamestream media is jumping down your throat, if there were room in there with all that ham.  So naturally, the Republican candidates were called upon to repudiate Rush, and they did so, in no certain terms.

RICK SANTORUM (3/2/2012): He's being absurd, but that's, you know, an entertainer can be absurd.

MITT ROMNEY (3/2/2012): I'll just say this, which is, it's not the language I would have used.

Yes, "slut" and "prostitute" is not the language Mitt would've used.  He might have used "trollop" or "wanton harlot" or "bowlegged dumpster skank".

And folks, as of this broadcast, twelve advertisers have pulled their support from Rush's show, including ProFlowers, Quicken Loans, Sleep Train, Sleep Number, Citrix Systems, Carbonite, and LegalZoom.  No surprise there, folks.  All these products clearly endorse the slut lifestyle.  Mattresses to do it on, flowers to thank her for the slutting, and Quicken spreadsheets to organize who you're going to spread it quick for under the sheets.  And LegalZoom, we all know, is just short for LegalZoomazoomazoom and a boom boom.

But faced with losing sponsors, today the unthinkable happened.  Rush apologized for calling Ms. Fluke a slut and a prostitute.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/5/2012): I again sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for using those two words to describe her.  I do not think she is either of those two words.
Yes, Rush apologized for using those two words to describe her.  But he still stands behind everything else he said.
RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/2/2012): Sandra Fluke is having so much sex, that she can't afford it.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): She wants all the sex in the world, whenever she wants it, all the time.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/2/2012): They're lined up around the block!

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): We're talking sex addict frequency.

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/5/2012): ... an immoral, baseless, no purpose to her life woman

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): Ms. Fluke, who bought your condoms in junior high?

RUSH LIMBAUGH (3/1/2012): She's having so much sex, it's amazing she can still walk!

I don't understand why this man has gone through four wives.  (wild audience applause and cheering)

But folks, I'll tell you, I don't think Rush should have apologized for calling her a prostitute.  I mean, it takes one to know one.  And remember, he only apologized to keep his advertisers, proving Rush will do anything with his mouth for cash.  We'll be right back.

Stephen was also waiting in terror at the latest Romney Countdown clock, and did a Sport Report segment about Danica Patrick and the New Orleans Saints bounty scandal.

Meanwhile, Jon Stewart also covered the growing Rush Limbaugh controversy in his own hilarious segment, highlighting how we've had to pay for things like wars that we didn't agree with with our tax dollars as well, telling the right-wing warmongers to basically shut the fuck up.

John Oliver then sat down with the Palestinian ambassador about their push for statehood.

Stephen talked with actress Audra McDonald and signed off with a duet with her, and Jon talked with HUD Secretary Shaun Donovan, which of course went long, so here's the whole interview they put online.
Part 1
Part 2

Originally posted to Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group on Tue Mar 06, 2012 at 02:48 AM PST.

Also republished by Sluts, DKOMA, ClassWarfare Newsletter: WallStreet VS Working Class Global Occupy movement, and Progressive Hippie.

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