Braking newz:
Focksnews.com -- At a press conference in Washington, DC today, former Tennessee Rep. Horald Ford today announced he would seek the GOP nomination to challenge U.S. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) in the 2010 election.
"I'm a life-long conservative who has dedicated his political capital to weakening the Democratic Party," Ford said.
Ford said teabaggers would just love him.
"For starters, I'm to the right of most New York Republicans," Ford said. "Dede Scozzafava? HA! I'm to the right of that Doug Hoffman dude, and he didn't even run as Republican."
Asked for specific examples of his conservative record, Ford rattled off a comprehensive list.
"Well, I'm pro-life," he said. "I want to outlaw abortion. I said so in 2006 -- live, on national TV. It's up there on YouTube if you want to see it.
"But that's not all, folks. I am for the Iraq War. I'm against immigration. I thought Congress should have intervened in the Terri Schiavo case to stop her socialist husband. And I'm for permanent repeal of the Nazi estate tax.
"I'm the teabaggers' sweetest dream and the Democrats' worst nightmare."
Asked about whether his support for the bailouts and his career as a Wall Street consultant might hurt his reputation amongst teabaggers, Ford muttered something about the looming Communist menace and stormed out of the press conference.
Rumor has it Glenn Beck is looking to serve as the Ford campaign's spokesbagger.