With pronouns, an apostrophe indicates a contraction. This is not differential equations, people. If your poor brain is incapable of comprehending the meaning of the words "pronoun" and "contraction", maybe you should just give up on the concept of writing. I really don't get this. If you read, you have seen the correct usage thousands of times. Why can't some learning take place here?
"If I would have known, I would have been there". You are using the same term for two different things, while making your prose clumsy and more complicated. Repeat this phrase 100 times: "If I had known".
"You can come with Bill and I". This is the same as saying "come with I". What is going on here? Does something about the word "and" addle your mind? Or do you think the word "I" is more high-class than "me"?
"I was laying on the couch". Laying what, eggs? Lie/lay is like sit/set. The second of each pair is transitive. If you lay on a couch, I guess you set in a chair.
I could go on, but maybe my fellow grammar police will help out in the comments.
Standards exist for a reason: if we all just write however we damn please, reading gets a lot harder.