We’re all storytellers at heart, in a way. While some of us make our living by spinning stories (or helping others to tell theirs, an underappreciated skill), most of us limit our efforts to social media interaction or blogging or even more private pursuits, such as keeping a journal or simply sharing our experiences face-to-face with those around us. Still, no matter what form it takes, at its core, our storytelling impulse is rooted in a desire to make sense of our lives, and our own place in it, and (usually) to connect with others by sharing that experience. Most of us recognize that we have a story to tell, and most of us try to tell it in some way, shape or form.
We have public personas: the self that we feel safe sharing with colleagues, acquaintances, or even Strangers on the Internet.TM Some people cultivate social media personas that show only their best (or worst) selves to the world, and save their real selves — their true story — for a trusted few. For various reasons, some even keep that story just for themselves, and a few of us do a pretty good job at ignoring our own story too, or at least pretending that it’s something other than what it is.
Some of us use our stories as a sort of shorthand, as a way to sketch out the basics for others: the who, what, where, whens and whys of our lives. Where we came from and how we came to be who we are, and where we might be headed. A frame to hang our decisions on. A thing to pass on to future generations. A way to say “this is me! [In a nutshell.]”
Sometimes it’s therapy: a raw, unvarnished, unsentimental, even confrontational look at what has transpired and our concerns or fears of the future. This “warts and all” approach may be welcomed by some, or be too much for others to take. It’s one of life’s big crap-shoots: who can handle my truth? If we’re lucky, we find a few folks willing to listen when we need to be heard. If we’re super lucky, they may even stick around to hear more.
We also have internal narratives and personal histories and “self stories” that help us explain to ourselves where we came from, what we’ve been through, and where we’re going. We use these internal narratives to guide — and sometimes to rationalize — our decisions and actions. In a very real way, we are who we tell ourselves we are. Those of us struggling with behavioral change know more than most how critical it can be to take control of this internal narrative, to really hear what we’re telling ourselves and to take conscious steps to counter those internal voices if the things they’re saying are counterproductive or discursive or too self-critical.
We also have it in our power to change the stories we tell ourselves and others, to alter the details to fit new realities and modes of being — we forget that parts of our stories are still unwritten, or that we can change how we feel about the chapters that cause us pain.
The stories we tell — our stories — are a way of sharing our humanity (flaws and all) with others. They help others understand, empathize, relate, or be inspired.
They’re also a way of clarifying our own past and present in order to work out the best path to take going forward. The things we tell ourselves can even be more important than the things we share with others. We all know folks who are natural storytellers, and we may not think ourselves gifted in that way, but we all live with stories, and we all have stories to tell.
Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?
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